Sexual repression has been on a society level for many centuries. Sex has been treated as a private, practical affair. Talking about sex has been confined to something that occurs only between a husband or wife. This repression on a societal level has meant that we as individuals have repressed our sexuality in order to conform.
For many centuries, the Catholic Church has governed our lives. The church portrays sex as a sin – as with masturbation – and we unconsciously may be feeling dirty because of these indoctrinated beliefs. Sex has been seen something to be condemned, and as a result we have unconscious or conscious guilt about sex with our partners, with a lover or with a stranger.
Within your family, nothing is constant except change itself. Your family is constantly changing and evolving over time as both you and your family members grow. There is also a conservation of roles within the family at all times. When one person is overly critical, someone is overly non-critical, when someone has tough discipline, another is easygoing with their discipline. One person may be focused on learning and educating themselves, and there is another person that is stagnant. When one person is focused on health and eating healthy food, another member of the family is not. There will always, at all times, in every moment, be complimentary opposites in a family system. When one person shifts, everyone else in the family will shift accordingly. This is evident in the law of compensation.
The same applies for sexuality in the family. If one family member is sexually repressed, one person – the other partner or perhaps a child will express it. There is no gain without a loss or loss without a gain. You cannot escape the Universal Law of compensation in any system. My advice to you is to go out, empower yourself and express your sexuality in the way you would love to.
Conservation within the family also relates to empowerment levels. The bigger the gap between the empowerment level of the most and least empowered family members, the bigger the volatility is likely to be within the family. The bigger family will isolate between extremes. The more equal and empowered each family member is, the less the family will oscillate in power from one extreme to the next. So empower yourself in your own sex life. Learn more about yourself and sex itself. Discover and reveal your hidden desire (even fetishes), dissolve your perceptions of shame and guilt, and awaken the lover inside you.
Some people don’t feel they are good enough, attractive enough, or charismatic enough – they repress their sexual nature, block out who they are and their true essence. We often disown our true sexual nature, fracture our sense of self, and inject the ideas of other people into our lives instead of living by our authentic self.
Sometimes your sexual repressions will come out in your dreams. If you notice your dreams are sexual, look for the content, and then find the opposite in your waking life. It will often be a reflection of your repressions.
Your sexual repressions will also be displayed in your family life – if you take a closer look. I have a client who has three children. Their sex life is non-existent as he sees he fucks with people in the literal sense, not the physical. He does not have an intimate relationship with his wife.
When I ask who is expressing the sexuality in the family, he says, “no one”. But I ask him to take a closer look, and he finally says “it’s his 7-year-old daughter. She models for fashion, wears revealing clothes, and dances erotically like the girls in the music clips on television.” If you repress your sexuality, someone else in your family will overly express it.
It is worth spending the time to clear your beliefs, griefs, and challenges around sex and intimacy. Spend time clearing your emotional baggage that is holding you back from owning your sexuality because it will help to feel you mentally and physically.
If you have a sexual challenge that you would love to resolve, please contact Counsellors of Wisdom today at firstname.lastname@example.org.